Wake Up!

December 1. Aids Remembrance Day. I remember my daughters father who died of Aids. I remember the journey, the isolation, the fear, the strength, the stretching beyond what I knew possible and the new territory I found myself in on a daily basis. I can never forget the quiet, profound, powerfully indescribable miracles. The immense vulnerability, the unknown, the endless void. The awakening.

This little poem I wrote in 2003. There were horrendous fear based myths being whispered in shadows and dark corners. Little girls were being violated. People were being ostracised, attacked, murdered. Fear was running wild.

I say little poem because it only captures the very tip of a colossal iceberg. It is a performance poem and works better performed and not read. I got to perform it at the opening of woman's parliament in Cape Town with a poetry and performance collective I was part of, I can't remember the year.
Amakwirikwiri is a derogatory term used here that refers to foreigners from our neighbouring African countries.

Wake Up!

This is not
a black
white
gay
amakwirikwiri
lesbian
disease

This is not
an uneducated
misinformed
poor
rural
young prostitute
because you did it on your knees disease

WAKE UP!

There is no cure through violating and raping
the pure
the virgin
the little girl next door
A big man like you
what the hell were you thinking
we'd love to think you feel
and know
more

WAKE UP!

Yes of course you can work with
love
and hug
care for
and help
use the same mug
eat from the same plate
without dooming your fate

WAKE UP!

Stop pretending it's not there
get tested
tell the lovers you've had
whoevers been under
on
in your bed
this is the moment now
to get it in your head

WAKE UP!

What about the infected babies
the children
their silent voices
silent pain
Just because we don't see them
does not mean they do not have a name

WAKE UP!

This is our disease
From Knysna to Nepal
Cape Flats to Cairo
Durban to Dubai

From the boring to the bizaar
it's got us all covered
it affects us all

Look in the mirror
Face the facts
The seeds of change begin with that face staring back

It's urgent
it's dire
It's desperate
Take stock

You are the only one
who can make the choice
to
wake
up.


2003

Oh Woman! R i s e

Oh woman

Call yourself back

From your isolation

from stagnant trenches

arrid deserts

hollow caves

and claustrophobic shadow lands

that

speak

behind

rustling

leaves

and

backs

Sing the soulful sinew back onto your bones

Drum

and

stamp

the

tattered

scattered

pieces of yourself

back together

Those parts

that were politely ripped from your hands

and heart

while you smiled

 and 

e n d l e s s l y

poured

out

more

than

you

had

to

give

Start

Even if in silence

rocking alone

in the dark

Start

Even if in whispers 

Or crawling

It is time to inhabit

the luminosity of your skin

This vast wise container that is you

They will never know who you are
if you do not stand firmly
in these thighs
breasts
and feet
that speak stirring stories
that rattle
tightly bound
one track
minds
and suffocated hearts

If you do not
they will force feed you with lies
spin
you
in
circles
fill you
with a million stories that are not yours
attempt to shatter your vast spaces
that know not of confinement
and only know
the wisdom every cell in your body speaks
every nuance
pulsation
vibration
ripple
pulse
and twitch

They will tell you you are crazy
That you imagine the mystery of your heart
They will interrogate you
demand answers
why's and how's

as you lie tied to their crosses

You hear yourself echoing

 answers
explanations
apologies
in their dark airless torture chambers
while the landscape of your heart
you have walked
track by track
barefoot
blindfolded
naked
in the dark
over
and
over
again

warns you

not
to
betray
it's
timeless
wisdom
that
surpasses
all words
and
bounds

Oh woman

Divine feminine beauty in all your shapes and forms

It is time to R
                         I
                            S
                                E

You need to call yourself back
into the centre of your skin
You need to inhabit this profound territory
shine through the thick tangible veils
in the absolute
T R U T H
of who you are
and what you know without words.

There will be no further annhilation on these grounds.
No
further.

2 October 2017

L o v e Is E v e r y t h i n g

l o v e   i s   e v e r y t h i n g:



Love is everything can be a well intentioned, beautifully, intricately woven, safe, protective cloak. Equalizing, neutralizing, sanitizing everything and everyone in a gentle, kind, pinkish green, tinged in gold, purple haze. Watering down loves most exquisitely pure elixir into a sprinkle, a spray, a breeze.


Wearing this love is everything cloak you circle the sacred fire. You feel the heat of the flames.  You feel the warmth, glow and sparks and spread a logical love with both feet on the ground from a safe, sweet and kind distance, with a twinkle in your eyes, a smile on your lips and the gentle light of love in your heart.


 With this love is everything cloak you do not risk stepping into a sacred groundless fire to succumb to the purifying burn of loves purest nectar.  You do not risk standing in the blaze of this scorching volcanic pool.  In this sacred fire you are willingly naked, vulnerable, exposed.  In this fire you cannot avoid seeing yourself in the mirror of the other.  The mirror of your soul.  In this fire you stand in the presence of your wounds, your shadow, your power, your weakness, your demons.


 In this fire we pulse, crack, rock, sweat, twist, strip and burn into bliss.  Truly burn into bliss.  We are humbled, kneaded, wholed, transformed.


 The heat of this fire is not for everyone.


 In these flames we live in complete fullness, complete truth.  Stepping into this fire you risk being fully seen, fully and unimaginably deeply loved, every crevice, canyon and black hole of you.


When and if you are ever ready to leave your cloaks, clothes, skin and swords at the temple door and kneel, only then is love truly and purely everything. It is then that you allow this fire of love to initiate you.


Love is you, you are love. 


This intimate, conscious love with another is the eye of a needle that is a doorway into the unseen, unknown realms, a threshold into a pulsating infinite cosmic force.  Yes, then love is everything.


This pure and potent love from the sacred fire pit is what heals.  This love is the love that heals you, your neighbour, your friends, your enemies, strangers, humanity, the world, all the planets and the entire universe and beyond. Once you have stepped into this sacred fire, love is everything becomes a sword of blazing blue truth.  This love burns with a purity from deep within and ignites trillions of fires, one star, one atom, one cell, one universe at a time; to create this one pulse, this one breath, that is your breath, that is mine.


The risk of allowing another to deeply, soulfully and purely matter to us allows us to live and vibrate love is everything in its purest most potent form.  From out of these burnt ashes all and everything is possible, something exquisitely new can emerge.


If you are not ready for these flames do keep your beautifully woven cloak on and continue circling the sacred fire, spreading your version of love with both feet firmly on the ground.



13 Feb 2016