Overcome

I went for a walk in the forest today. A forest I have been walking in for many years, but haven't walked in for a good while.  As I deepened into the familiar paths, I was overcome with a deep sadness. 

My daughter and I have walked these paths hundreds of times before, since she was a little girl.  She is currently dealing with deep internal challenge! I see her struggle with herself, with her world, every day. As I walked I heard her lightness, her spirit, her innocence, her laughter. In this playground she used to search for gnomes and faeries, mossy men and wild mushrooms, under unfurling ferns, between cracked rocks, hollow tree trunks and next to streams.

 Tears streamed as I walked with these memories. Time moves so quickly and waits for none of us.  Everything is now. NOW.

 Allowing space and freedom for all feelings to rise, surface, breathe and subside...this is what came...



Overcome
walking the paths
your little firm feet used to follow

overcome
by the familiar scents and sounds

frog songs
baboon bark
water whisper
envelop me in waves of nostalgia

overcome
recalling this flood of memories
 I sit on wet earth cushioned with pine needle beds
crunchy old leaves
bark bits and branches

butterflies and gnats wizz and whirl in soft forest light
poetically perfect

a wild array of trees in all shades of green
lean in and wrap themselves around my bleeding heart
as your earth swallows my silent tears

alone

just pulse
breath
eyes and skin

I hear your happy heart songs trickle down the tannin stained stream
I hear your muted freedom songs echo in the breeze

alone

perfection

This moment is sacred perfection. The wind that howls in currents between frog songs, dog talk and kitchen plate sounds soothes me. The sun and moon know their majestic ancient dance that still dazzles. They witness my smile, my awe, my silence, as they paint my sky.

I merge into this one moment and let it live wholeheartedly in its split second of foreverness. 

ContrastsGiftsHealingTrust

Yesterday was struck by sharp contrasts. Every Tuesday I walk into the hard, bland courtyard of ward 20, the high security male forensic ward at Valkenberg Psychiatric Hospital.

Most days are uneventful, save for a few more than interesting engagements. This Tuesday we were greeted by a water flooded courtyard floor, apparently a patient beat someone up, they used a hosepipe to wash the blood away. The overflow had spilled into our yoga space, we had to tip toe through the bloody puddle to get into the room. They couldn't find a mop to clean it, like the time one of the patients dug his fingernails into my skin and they couldn't find a plaster for the cut, like the time one of the patients died because they couldn't get to the resuscitation machine in time, as there were a barage of gates, locks and doors between them.

From my spot on the mat I face the door we slipped through. I do not miss the blood laced footprints that pattern the floor of the room around our mats as we do our yoga.

Earlier that morning I found myself giving Reiki to a woman at the gym who had had a massive panic attack while in a spinning class.

Post teaching my first morning class I decided to have a coffee. Generally on Tuesdays my ritual is to have a sauna after the yogaing, not very yogic, but my Tuesday ritual!

Next to me, on her back, on the adjoining couch was a woman speaking in panicked whispered tones to a biokeneticist and a gym staff member.  I knew instantly that she was having a panic attack, my hands started pulsing with heat and all I wanted to do was place them on her. I waited, drank my coffee, and distracted myself with my phone until I couldn't wait a moment longer.

I walked up to them, knelt down and asked if she didn't mind if I asked what had happened.  She said "You do Reiki" I said "Yes!" The two men looked at each other and said " Oh you know each other" we said "NO!" 

She asked me to put my hands on her heart. She took my one hand and placed it onto her racing chest and gently rested her one hand over mine. Her tears rivered, tremors rippled through her body and her heart rate started to slow. I tuned into the powerful rush of energy moving through me and allowed its flow.

I never doubt the divine flow of life. We are always at the right place at the perfectly right and divine time for the lessons we need to learn, teach and share. Always.

The fun part was that they were monitoring her heart rate as my hands rested on her body, it visibly started to drop, she started to calm.  This beautifully intuitive woman said she could feel me sitting on the couch next to her, she couldn't see me, but knew I could help her. She intuitively  knew I did Reiki, a beautifully delicious and rich moment of connection. Once she softened and dropped deeper into her body I gave her the amazing, ancient and healing Sitali Pranayama to practice.  It is a blessing to share these teachings that we have at our disposal as healing tools on our path, as we negotiate and process our lives that are full to the brim with glowing gifts disguised as deep, dark, insurmountable challenges for us to wade through and ultimately transcend.  Yogi Bhajan said to:
  "keep crossing the crisis" ultimately he taught that eventually you will win!

Crisis and challenge will come. How do we choose to negotiate them? How do we choose to face them?

 I love the situations that unfold as gifts that continually allow me to deepen into trust.

Thank you life
Sat Nam

war

War

The external trauma, pain, insane injustice and war always a deeply uncomfortable and direct reflection of our wild and raging internal wars. A
collective unconscious psychic battleground has been manifested into being.

To me it feels like this war has woken more people up, uncomfortably shaking humanity awake. What has it called us to do? People aee speaking up and out! People are communicating, meditating, praying. People are pulling together and demonstrating our connectedness,  compassion and oneness!

Yesterday initiated by Deepak Chopra over 100 000 people from all over the world simultaneously meditated together. Would we have been drawn to do this without this war?

It has blazingly brought issues to the surface again. Why are innocent people still  fighting the wars of unconscious world leaders?

We have had enough! We want peace.We want to heal the open wounds of our collective consciousness, the wounds, pain and trauma of our ancestors and humanity. We can do this. We are doing this.  As we work consciously on ourselves we heal not only ourselves but 7 generations before us and 7 generations ahead of us.  The spiritual growing pains of this process may feel like labour,  may feel like giving birth, may feel like death, because it is all of those things and it will affect you on all layers and levels of your body and being. Keep walking, running, breathing, moving, dancing, yogaing, meditating into through and beyond all of it. Keep tuning into your breath,  into the wisdom of your body,  the wisdom of your soul.    It feels like this shifting we are doing will be worth it.  I trust it will.

Meditation for Inner Assessment

Meditation for Inner Assessment:  This meditation carried me out of 2012 into 2013.  It feels soothing balancing/centering and delightfully gentle.

There are 3 parts that can be practiced for between 3 - 11 minutes.  When practicing break the times up equally between each part.

Throughout the entire meditation SLOW THE BREATH DOWN as much as possible.....s-l-o-w....... go deep.

Part One:  To know your inner balance

Sitting comfortably in easy pose bring your hands together in prayer mudra at the heart centre.  Gently slide your left hand up in front of your face, your right palm will rest comfortably on you inner left arm, the tip of the fingers of your right hand, will rest just below your left hand.  Focus at the third eye.

Part Two:  To know your inner projection

Still focusing at your third eye bring your hands up infront of your face.  Join the base of the palms together and slowly, consciously bring the palms together until the fingers touch together last.  The thumbs are nestled into the hollow of the eyes on either side of your nose. Continue with your long, slow and conscious breath.

Part Three:  To know your inner strength

Continue focusing at your third eye and bring your hands to the centre of your chest.  Right hand over the left.  Apply a pressure to your chest and maintain this pressure throughout the meditation.  Continue your long, slow, deep and conscious breath.

Allow yourself to sit in the bliss after the meditation before tuning out with 3 long Sat Nam's.....a long saaaaaaaaaaaat and a short nam, chanted in a monotone.

"We have been blessed in virtue as human beings with three things: body, mind, and soul.  Soul is the higest sefl:  body and mind are there to serve the soul.  The purpose of life, the attitude of life, is to serve the soul"  Yogi Bhajan

2013 blessings

May this year take you deeper into your purpose, deeper into alignment with your soul purpose, deeper into you joy.  May you experience fulfillment on all levels and in all ways.  May you experience the powerful gifts that all your challenges bring.  May you allow the flow of your soul through your body.  May you stand in full presence in the centre of the river and smile as your soul expands. Your soul knows its purpose and with each breath and each beat of your heart it calls you into awareness, into alignment, waking you to its highest dream.
Sat Nam

Two new poems

...finished this poem yesterday 29.12.12

Resurrect

I shiver in the misty dew soaked
pre-dawn
 ice crack pitch

My toes taste tar
my nails puncture flesh
etching blood red crescents
into my evolving infinite moons

I resist my blink

Through stinging eyes and wet cheeks
I stare beyond the stoic treeforms
The dark stretches into unknown territories
A loud winged light pierces it

My feet remain planted
rich dark chocolate soil
crumbles around them

My world peels away

Dormant universes reveal themselves
a third eye
an initiation
a vision
my
resurrection


.....and another one finished 15.12.12

My field

A strong fiery force moves me
I trip
bite my tongue
walk faster
spread wider
dissolve deeper into this fertile revolution
I sense a delicate blossoming
an abundant flowering
 a fullness painting spaces between
beyond and into my trillions of cells

A tangibile recalibration

a rare wild orchid kissed by forest sun

My skin soet and sweat soaked
from setting fire to what I came to burn

My blood drenched and fertile fields
tossed
turned
ploughed
tilled
weeded
watered
prepared